Howdy

AAAUUUGH!!! More about that later.

This Week I Love:

• Hats
• Neighborhood Clean-up
• The Way Ewan Used to Snore (I miss it.)
• My Hot Cop
• Jeffrey Being a Great Friend
• Calista Reading Like a Mad Woman
• Carson's Look of Death
• Carson Remembering (By Herself) How to Spell Her Name Using Sign Language.
• Seeing Old Friends

Things That Have To Go:

• I Was Going To Say Gay Bar Parking But for Once I Don't Mind
• Water Heater Breaking and Other Unexpected Expenses
• Older Kids Being Gone
• Carson Saying She Doesn't Like Me
• Having To Shower at My Mom's and Then Being Allergic to My Own Hair
• Worrying about Every Dollar I Spend

Questions I Asked Myself:

• why? Why? WHy? WHY?
• Why does everyone else seem to have more money?
• Why does our heater have to break right before we try to sell the house?
• Why do I have to feel like crud?
• Why am I so clumsy?
• Why can't I get rid of headaches?
• Why is it that I exercise but don't feel more energy and don't look better?
• Why doesn't effort mean more?
• Is Everyone Staring at Me?
• What can I do to help Erik feel happier and more worthwhile?

Things I Learned This Week:

• A three-year-old girl can break your heart. (To be honest, I already knew.)
• A three-year-old girl can make you feel much better.
• Apparently (according to Laila) when Kat grows up she will have big boobs like me (never mind that Kat is almost ten years older than me).
• Bunnies solve everything.
• Sometimes having someone slobber all over you doesn't feel that bad.
• I am a great mom because I don't beat my kids.
• If you talk to people about reading a book with serial killers in it makes them think you don't really read anything else but that type of books.
• I'm more envious than I would like.
• The word maudlin means tearfully sentimental.
• The word sibilant means producing a hissing sound.
• While I knew a crone was an old hag, a crony is a close friend and cronyism means showing favoritism to old friends regardless of qualifications.
• While I knew gaffer was an old man, gaffe means a clumsy, social error or a blatant mistake.

Well, this week has been umm interesting. On Sunday, we had a great time at the park. Jeffrey tried to touch a goose and he did then ran away. He later saw another goose protecting a nest of eggs. It kept hissing at him and I told him, "Touch it or get close if you want to but it will attack you." So he snuck around the tree to get close to it without it seeing him. We walked around Liberty park and looked at the dogs, fed the ducks, and just spent some fun time talking to each other.

We had a busy school week and on Friday our water heater broke. That is frustrating. We don't know if we should send it back, get a new one, etc. This had to happen right when we wanted to get the house up for sale. They have a neighborhood cleanup here. It is a great idea. Twice a year you have 10 days to put any garbage from your house and yard on the street and the city comes and picks it up. We have been clearing out the house and when we put items on the street it is gone the same day, sometimes within minutes.

The kids are all ready for summer and then cold weather hit again. I hate global warming. Erik bought me a pair of shorts and I wore shorts the other day for the first time in years (besides pj's or as Carson used to call them jbay's. I miss that). I walked around all day thinking people were looking at me and I felt naked. I am getting used to them but my legs are not. Since I don't wear dresses and I don't wear shorts, my legs are not used to touching each other much so are kind of sore now. I don't know how you ladies and more extravagent men do it. Erik also bought me a dress, the first dress I have had since High School. It is just my style, a retro 50's meets hippy early 70's. I now need someone to watch the kids on a warm day so I can wear it. I'll take a picture as it will be a momentous occasion.

Jeff and Calista are at their dad's this weekend and I took Ewan and Carson to my mom's. It was nice to be able to bathe them without boiling water. I showered there and used my mom's shampoo. She is allergic to perfume so I thought I wouldn't be allergic to it. I was allergic to both the shampoo and conditioner and now every piece of hair that touches my face or neck is itchy. It's like being allergic to one's own hair. It was fun to go shopping with Brittney and Jared though and we are trying to plan a double date here in Salt Lake: go to the Gateway Mall, see a movie there, maybe catch lunch, and I was hoping we could go to Gourmandies after.

This week I haven't been feeling well. While shopping, I suddenly had a Star Trek warp experience where I saw moving lights all over. I knew this was a precursor to a migraine and sure enough by evening it was here. My migraines are worse. They used to be two a week and now they are four or five a week. They sometimes go away mid day but not always. I wonder if it is how I sleep or my jaw getting used to my mouth guard. I don't know. Besides the migraines, I have also been feeling physically run down and the bottom of my right rib hurts and I wonder if I bruised it or something. My allergies are going crazy. I can only wear make-up every three or so days and I often feel like scratching my skin right off. I am taking Ewan to the doctor tomorrow for his six month appointment and I am going to see the doctor too. To top all that off, I have been getting these bumps on my skin that itch, kind of like hives and then they scar over.

It is amazing how the joys and anxieties of motherhood rocket up and down so quickly. Carson is getting so old. She is learning how to manipulate to get things she wants. I remember when Calista was the same age she came to me and said, "Can I have a yogurt?"

I replied, "No, we are eating dinner soon."

Soon after, she came and asked, "Can I have a cookie?"

"No," I reply, "we are eating soon."

Soon after, she came and asked, "Can I have candy?"

"No," I said frustrated, "If you have to eat something eat a yogurt or something." Hmmm. Sneaky girl.

A few days ago, Carson asked me, "Mom, can I bring my bunny with us."

I said, "No, you often leave it and then you won't have it in bed tonight."

Carson gave me her best death look and said, "I don't like you."

I know every kid says this to his/her parents to show frustration with something but it still hurts. I said to Carson, "That really hurts my feelings and makes me sad because I always like you, no matter what." Way to lay on the guilt right?

She looked really said and said, "Mommy, I like you."

"Thanks," I said, "That makes me feel a lot better." Then she came and hugged me and told me she liked me again.

Carson loves a book called Llama Llama, Mad at Momma, all about a little llama who goes shopping with his Momma at the Shop-o-Rama. The author just came out with another book, Llama Llama Red Pajama. My favorite part of that book is when little Llama cries and screams for Momma and Momma comes in and said, "Little Llama, stop all this llama drama." I often feel the same way with my kids; What's with all the drama?

Because Carson likes the books so much, she often puts her hands to look like llamas. Then they talk to each other. On Friday, Carson's hand llamas were talking.

"I don't like you Momma Llama."

"Little Llama, that makes me sad. I always like you."

"I'm sorry Momma Llama, I like you."

"Thank you little Llama. I like you too."

As a parent, I noticed I always have to watch what I say and do because some parts stick with just two sentences said while others are never thought of again.

By the way, I hate being thrown up on, now with baby cereal, and not having hot water with which to clean myself.

I am very anxious for tomorrow and Tuesday. Erik is finishing off his interviews in Port Angeles and he has an interview with Bremerton also. I really hope this works out. We have to move. Just last night there was an armed robbery at a gas station a block away and another armed robbery at the bar behind our house.

Speaking of bars, an interesting thing happened to Erik last night. Made my whole week worth while, if it hadn't've been already. As you all know, the gay bar next to us leveled the empty lot by the house and turned it into parking. Now, people have been parking three feet from our house. I have also discussed how I need drapes or blinds for my kitchen right? We haven't put any up yet and in case we leave soon we decided just to deal with it. Know what's coming yet? As many of you might not know, bars here close at two in the morning. Erik arrived at home last night around one. Wanting to go to bed but not tired and with all the kids sleeping, we spent some fun time together.

Now watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU

After, Erik goes to the sink to get a drink of water.

He hears screaming, "Whoo! Yeah! That's It!"

He turns toward the sound, naked, like a deer caught in the headlights.

Yes, here were three men from the gay bar, getting into their car feet from our kitchen window, staring at Erik in all his glory, voicing their opinions. He turned beet red and ran away. Even after he dressed and lay in bed I could feel the heat radiate from his face from his embarrassment. What a nice gaffe. This picture is his interpretation of the event. He may not be too happy about me putting this story on the blog but I keep telling him he will appreciate and laugh at the story later. I already do.